Craving

Blue Saliva, work in progress

I'm craving to paint today.
Not for money, or for commission, or to have a new painting to sell, but to paint. To feel the brush in my hand, to mix colors and to apply pigment to paper.
And as I paint, I feel like I'm at home. I want to paint forever - or the rest of the night at least.

As I paint my thoughts are fluttering around as I go from leaf to leaf with no real pattern or method. Just like a butterfly , I go from perch to perch; "this color caught my eye, -it must be darker here." I am here for me - me alone.

I don't want to stop. I am in the moment - I am high. My music sounds better, the lawn mower outside my window sounds delicious - summer is coming. Lawns will need mowing, my flowers will grow. New paintings in the making.

I paint paying attention to the details. Today is about details, about joy, about me. I am doing exactly what I want to do at this very moment.

Still, I feel restless. Paint faster? Get up? I can't get up.
I am fixated by a hue of green in part shadow by a flower.
Don't stop - fixate- become obsessed. Paint in joy and love. 
Love it, love this moment.
                                 Jill Rae Martin-Golden